May 2013
figurants:
some people were born today. hello babies welcome to the earth. you missed a bunch of stuff while you were busy not existing. jbiebs did some things you would not believe
illkim:
*throws $20 bill at stripper* hey can I have the change
nighthooker:
how the fuck do i become friends with some of you you guys are cool as fuck
mowwwg:
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
upgraders:
It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making
pattinsin:
i actually have a fashion taste that is completly different from what i actually wear but i dont have enough confidence to wear what i really want to wear
porndirector:
i’d be so attractive if i was attractive
*Wakes up in the middle of the night*
Me: Please don't be 6am
*1;48am*
Me: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME!
*Shoves face back into pillow*
shego:
true friendship is skyping but not talking to each other the entire time
idcau:
if u call me cute i’ll probably think about it for the next 3 years so don’t do that
letterstogodptiii:
tea-books-and-blankets:
yaygocats:
discomplete:
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
sloth-grunge:
do you think if i die now i’ll have enough time to be reincarnated as kim kardashians baby
amoying:
do horses end their prayers with neigh-men
kevinprices:
WHY HASN’T GLEE BEEN CANCELLED YET
coagulates:
I just wanna kiss you for a few hours
teafolly:
When you write a word and it looks wrong but it’s right and you just sit there and contemplate life
genocidercyo:
clockey:
you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
ostracizedpoodle:
you’re not as hot as you made your sim to be
